


Scar Tissue

by SunshineForEveryone



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Eating Disorders, F/F, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-16 23:15:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13064208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineForEveryone/pseuds/SunshineForEveryone
Summary: Kate Marsh has just attempted suicide. Thanks to the brave Max Caulfield, she walked away unscathed. However, her internal demons didn't go away as easily. After her initial stay at the hospital, she is sent to a mental health facility to help her through this trying time. Despite her nerves and growing anxiety, her new roommate offers her something nobody else did: to sit and listen.





	1. Ashes to Ashes

Cold.

It all seemed so cold. And bright. The tiles, the walls. The furniture was either brown or black, but it did almost nothing to lighten up the mood. Everyone came here for a reason. They were sick or tried to end their sickness. Kate never thought of herself as ‘sick.’

A blur was all she remembered. Up on the rooftop, her mascara running down her cheeks from tears and heavy rainfall. The ground was so far below her. Just what she wanted. She had heard it would be quick. Leap. Three seconds, maybe four. Then, darkness. It sounded really good to her at the time.

Until Max came up onto the roof. It was never explained to her how that happened. She didn’t see her once in the crowd that was beginning to form, not that she was paying particular attention. Some people yelled at her to stop, and some told her to get it over with already. One voice in the crowd even told her to do a flip. In the moment, it was funny, in a morbid way. Now, not so much. The memory shot bile up into Kate’s throat, but she managed to keep it down.

She strolled through the hallways behind a doctor and a nurse. The name of the nurse eluded her, but she knew the doctor’s named was ‘Goldberg.’ A tall man, at least six and a half feet. A bald patch on the top of his scalp and glasses resting on the tip of his nose. He even managed to make Kate laugh before her room was ready. He sat with her in the intake room, idly chit chatting about this and that.

It was refreshing, after so many people wanting to talk to her about what had happened. Rather, what she tried to make happen. All of her visitors in the regular hospital she got, all said the same thing. ‘I’m so sorry about what happened. Just so you know, I’m here for you. Anything you need, it’s yours.’

Where were they when Kate truly needed them, though? Looking back, it was obvious she was suffering. The bags under her eyes, the unwashed clothes she wore every day. She never spoke, save to a few people. Mostly Max. She knew she shouldn’t be mad at her of all people, but she couldn’t help it. On the rooftop, Max said she was sorry and that people cared for her. In the regular hospital, she believed that. Real and true.

But as the days went on in that place, she couldn’t help but spiral downward again. Even if she was doing what she loved, away from that horrible school and those horrible schoolmates of hers… Well, she couldn’t help but feel helpless.

“Kate?” Dr. Goldberg said, looking over his shoulder as he kept walking.

The sudden noise jolted Kate out of her daydreaming. “Y-Yes?”

“I said, ‘Are you alright?’”

Was she alright? She still felt depressed, sure, but not to the level she thought she was at a few weeks ago. She heard through the grapevine that the video had been deleted. After that, her parents started to forgive her. Well, her mother started to forgive her. Dad was always supportive and understanding, even when she was a little girl. It was just… Just, her mother was so overbearing.

“Yeah. I’m doing okay…” She looked down to her dress and frowned. Light blue scrubs on her top and on her bottom. She was wearing the shoes she was in when they brought her to the regular hospital. However, her parents said once she was settled in, they would mail her some of her regular clothes to wear. Which she would like to get sooner rather than later.

Dr. Goldberg sighed and fished into his back pocket to take out his wallet. “I know it’s tough to be new here, but you really should consider yourself lucky.” Kate’s brow furrowed as she looked up from her scrubs.

“Lucky? For what?” 

“Your roommate,” he said, as if those two words would give her all the information she needed. Instead of trying to pry information, she sighed and nodded, even if neither doctor nor nurse could see her do it. She just wanted to get settled. Maybe have some food, if possible. They told her the medications might do that.

The doctor held his wallet up to an RFI scanner, his pass card lying somewhere within the thick leather thing. The two large doors swung open and Kate was ushered through again. ‘Wing C’ is what the words above those double doors said. The layout of this wing was similar to the other ones she had been escorted through. A large station for the nurses to keep their records and medications in the center, with three halls adjacent to it, each with their own respective letter names. The pair she was following to a right, heading down hall ‘C.’

“This is where your room is,” the nurse said, gesturing vaguely to the hall. As soon as those words were spoken, Kate felt anxious. Deathly so. She wanted to get settled fast, but now that the moment was here it seemed almost too fast. What if her hallmates didn’t like her, just like at school? Some of them must be way older than her. That was Kate’s first thought when they told her she had to go to a facility for adults, since she was 18 now. What if they looked down on her for her young age?

Trying her best to keep a panic attack from wracking over her body, she stared forward and laser focused her eyes onto the nurse’s scrubs in front of her. Out of the corner of her eyes, she noticed that they’d passed some kind of recreational room. It wasn’t clear how many people were in there or what exactly they were doing. She heard a few laughs, though, so… that was something.

They took her all the way down the hall to door 12 .Every single room’s door was open except for this one. Initially, Kate found that to be strange, but then realized everyone must be in the rec room. That is, if they were all occupied.

The doctor knocked on the door a few times. Kate grabbed the hem of her shirt and wrung it in her hands. This was it. The first thing she had to do as a legal adult. Meet a potentially crazy person and have to live with her for however long they were going to keep her. Mom must be so proud, she though, knowing exactly what her mother thought of all this.

“It’s open,” came a voice from behind the door. Without waiting a single beat, the doctor pressed the knob-less inward and allowed Kate to step inside. On the bed to the right was a woman, looking a little older than Kate herself. Maybe 4 or 5 years, tops. Her hair barely grew past her ears, her skin was alabaster white and freckles covered her body head to toe. Speaking of toe, she was barefoot with a pair of leggings covering her bottoms and a simple white t-shirt covering her top. Around her bed in the corner were pictures and articles, and on the nightstand to next to the bed, it was littered with wrappers and empty Styrofoam cups. To make matters even worse, the redhead seemed annoyed, with her nose in a book.

_This is going to be a long, strange trip…,_ Kate thought to herself as she put her best foot forward and prepared to meet her new roommate.

* * *

_Time ticks on and on…_

I heard the footsteps clack into my room, and fingers tightening around my book. It was alright. She didn’t know any better. Hell, I didn’t even know her name yet, so why should I get angry? Because she was invading my space, that’s why. My clean space. That’s what I had to tell myself. The garbage littered on my nightstand bugged me to no end. I lost sleep over it some nights. I knew it would be good for me, though. A little mess is okay at times.

“Good afternoon, Caroline,” the doctor said, leaning into the doorway. Him or the nurse would have entered, if it weren’t for my strict rules about my room. I would love to have people spend time with me in my room some days. It would be nice to chat in a quiet, safe environment for once. Not that the group therapy sessions or one on ones were horrible, either.

“What’s up, Craig?” I said, looking to the tall doctor. The staff didn’t like me calling them by their first names. After doing it for so long, they just accepted it at this point. It’s not like I was hurting anyone, anyway. The staff and my other hallmates were my only friends in the world. And I don’t make it a point to call my friends by honorifics.

Craig smiled at me, pushing his glasses further up his nose. “Got a new roomie for you,” he said, gesturing to said girl. She was a cute little thing, but man did she look tired. She looked young, too. It always broke my heart when the young ones ended up here. It was harder for them to adjust.

“I can see that,” I said, placing a bookmark on the page I was currently on before sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of my bed, placing my feet on the cold floor. “Not to be rude, but rule number one about this room is no shoes. Period.”

Her brow knit together, as if she didn’t believe what she just heard. I raised a single eyebrow back at her, patiently awaiting her to adhere to my demand. Slowly, she reached down and slipped off her shoes. I pointed next to the door behind her, where my flip flops always were. The staff were nice enough to get me a piece of cardboard to lay them on, so my floor wouldn’t ever have to be tainted again. It was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

“I-I’m sorry…about that…” The girl placed her shoes next to mine on the cardboard. At least she can figure stuff out, I thought to myself. Underneath her shoes were the bright blue hospital socks this place always tries to make you wear. _If you don’t want to wear shoes, at least wear these,_ they would say. _Too constricting, I said right back to them._

“It’s fine,” I said, standing up and stretching out my back. “The name’s Caroline. And that bed’s yours.” My hand raised up to point at the other bed directly across from mine. It was exactly the same. “Rule two. Don’t touch my bed without my permission.” I saw her cringe a little bit, probably from hearing about another rule. Looking to Craig, irritation flashed across my features, but he put a hand up to stifle it. He knew how I got and knew how to stop me from boiling over.

“I-I’m…My name’s Kate,” the little thing said, holding out a hand. Looking at it, my eyebrows raised. She looked clean, despite her disheveled appearance. However, her hand was also shaking. A smirk ran its way across my lips at the memory of how much of a wreck I was when I first came here.

“She’s handling this much better than I did,” I said, looking up to Craig and the nurse, Lindsey, with a chuckle. “I, uh…I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t shake hands.” To emphasize the point, I crossed my arms over my chest in order to hide my hands from her sight. She stared at me for another moment before retracting her hand as quick as possible.

“I-I’m sorry…I-I didn’t…didn’t mean to offend…” I closed my eyes and sighed. _At least this one knows how to shower…_

“You don’t have to keep saying sorry. Just remember everything and you’ll be fine.” She nodded, still looking beat to shit. Who knows when she slept last?

Someone cleared their throat at the doorway, and we both looked up to the doctor and his fancy white lab coat. “Nurse Lindsey and I both have matters to attend to, so we’ll have to cut this short.” He looked to Kate. At least, I think that’s what she said her name was. “Just try to relax, Kate. Caroline’s a good egg. Keep talking to her and you’ll be just fine, okay?” The blonde girl nodded, looking down to her socked feet. “Take care of her, Caroline.” And with that, the two left.

I sat down on my bed again, just staring at this new girl. Her whole body was shaking, she was so nervous. Why wouldn’t she be? A big, scary mental hospital, filled with big scary people with big scary problems. With how young she looks, this might even be the first time she’s been away from her parents. “Hey,” I said, as gently as I could. I was told my tone could be aggressive at times and I tried to keep it in check when dealing with sensitive matters. Despite my effort, she still jumped and looked at me with wide eyes.

I put up my hands, showing her I was no threat. “It’s alright. I’m sorry for scaring you.” Internally, I kicked my own ass for that one. I just told this girl to stop apologizing so much and now I’m doing it? _Fuck. What kind of role model am I?_

I pushed those self-deprecating thoughts into the back of mind. I can deal with those in therapy later. Instead, I gestured to the bed opposite from me, silently telling her to sit. It took her a moment, but she eventually did, bringing her arms up to hug herself. She was still shaking. A real ‘deer in the headlights’ quality about her. And I always made it my mission to make friends with those type of girls that wandered in. Because those kind are in the most desperate need for a friend. Even if I was always shitting on myself for what I couldn’t be, I knew I could be a friend. Taking in a breath, I grabbed one of the Styrofoam cups off my nightstand and sipped at the juice inside.

“So…” I said, looking her in the eyes and biting my bottom lip. “Tell me about you.”


	2. The Brain Dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kate is left alone with her new roommate and doesn't know how to handle it.

“Tell me about yourself.”

It was a simple request and not one Kate thought she would have to answer so quickly. Then again, every member of the staff already knew about her. They were assigned to care for her, why wouldn’t they know? So far, she didn’t have to admit her sins to anyone. When she was admitted to the regular hospital, people recanted the events up on the rooftop for her, and the doctors and nurses only asked questions to confirm.

“Um…” Kate swallowed, trying to wet her dry throat. “I, uh…my name’s Kate…” It was a simple start, even if the fact was already out in the open. “And…well…” She scrunched her eyes shut, grabbing two fistfuls of her scrub pants as she steeled herself to explain what she was there for. “I…I attempted suici—”

“Hey,” Caroline said, voice sharp and cutting through her words easier than hot butter. “I asked you about you. Not what you did to get put in here.” The redhead leaned forward, her eyes squinting. “What are your interests? Your hobbies? Any friends?”

Kate blinked at the woman, brow furrowing in confusion. Her tone was so aggressive, but her facial features passive. Her body language was calm, save for her leg bouncing up and down on the floor. It seemed as if there was a gigantic cloud looming above her head and she was just ignoring it. It reminded her of another woman she met before, but she couldn’t think of the name. Only her face and the color of her hair.

“…what?” Kate said, jogging herself out of her daydreaming. She realized she was staring for too long, and she was told it was rude to stare. Instead, she looked down to the floor, only to have her gaze connect with the woman’s feet.

“You know… interests. What makes you excited to do it?” Caroline reached over to her nightstand and picked up the beaten up book she had been reading. “Like, I enjoy reading. It’s one of the highlights of my day. I guess…” she said, looking to the ceiling as she chose her words carefully. “What makes life bearable, if anything at all?” The redhead stared at her for a long moment before cracking a grin. “If feet is one of your things, then it’s a good thing they put you in my room.”

At the words, Kate realized where her gaze was and quickly looked away, cheeks flushed red. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…” The woman, instead of trying to calm her down, just laughed louder.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tease you.” She patted her chest as her giggles died off. “I just saw you staring and couldn’t help it.” With a sigh, she tossed her book without a care onto her nightstand with a loud thump. Kate looked up at the redhead, who stared at the haphazard placement of her book with a bit of irritation. “Seriously, though. What do you like?”

Happy for the conversational segway, Kate poked her tongue into her still blazing cheek. “I like…” As she thought about what to add to her statement, her brow furrowed a bit deeper. It was easier to talk about your interests when they came up in a natural conversation. She would happily go on and on about her interests in a normal conversation. Now that she was put into the spotlight, however, it seemed her mind went blank.

“I like…drawing,” she said, sounding as if she asked a question rather than said a statement. She looked back to Caroline, who was nodding with closed eyes.

“I’m glad to hear that. Just means you’ll get a lot out of art therapy.” She sighed, leaning back against the wall and criss crossing her legs. “I used to think art was dumb before I got here. After a couple sessions in the art room, I learned that I really liked it. Don’t know a lot about theory and stuff like that. I just like to pick up a pencil and start drawing.” She gestured to Kate with her head. “What kind of stuff do you like to draw?”

Kate shrugged, feeling more and more at ease as the woman spoke. She wasn’t comfortable by any stretch of the imagination, but this woman was helping. It was nice to have a somewhat normal conversation for once. “Mostly animals,” she said, scratching against the odd fabric of her scrub pants. “I’m not very good, though. My drawings are kind of cartoony.”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with cartoons. Shit, I’m the first one to admit I’d rather be watching _Winnie the Pooh_ over _Die Hard_ or something like that. I bet your drawings are really awesome.” At that, Kate couldn’t help but smile a bit.

“Thanks…but you’ve never seen me draw, so how do you know they’re awesome?” 

Caroline shrugged. “Just a gut feeling. Plus, if that was the first thing out of your mouth, that must mean it’s important to you.” She cracked another smirk. “But I’ll get to see you draw soon. Art therapy is tomorrow at 11 o’clock. So, feel free to make fun of my 5-year-old drawings while I admire your masterpieces.”

At last, Kate laughed for the first time in days. Everything had been so serious all the time. People telling her they were sorry. People asking her all sorts of questions about how she felt. People not even bothering to visit or even write a letter. Nobody sat down to actually talk to her. It was refreshing.

“Oh, stop,” Kate said. “I’m sure your drawings can’t be that bad.”

“It’s true. Ask any of the other girls about them and they’ll tell you how shit they are.” The two shared a chuckled before the room went silent. Kate cleared her throat, scratching at her pants a bit harder and trying to think of something else to say. The silences were the worst part about meeting someone new. That awkward lull in the conversation always felt like an eternity. And Caroline, despite her calm demeanor on the outside, might be quick to anger on the inside. Kate had met plenty of people like that in her life, and they were just as scary as the last one.

“So, uh…” Caroline said, looking to the ceiling once more. “I guess I should tell you a little about me, then?”

—

_Liar, liar, liar…_

This Kate girl should smile more often. It suits her. She’s got the shiny, white teeth and rosy cheeks for it. Whether or not the color on her cheeks was a blush or not, it was hard to tell. The fact remained, this girl was beautiful. By accident or intention, that didn’t matter. I could tell she didn’t believe it either way.

I looked over my shoulder at the pictures I strung up on the wall. Some were authors or people I admired. Their professions varied from one end of the spectrum to the other, but they all seemed to embody something I wished I had in myself. Patience or good looks or even wealth. It’s not a horrible thing to want these things, even if some of us in the world think otherwise.

Raising a hand up, I pointed at a picture of a woman with alabaster white skin, freckles as far as the eye could see and red hair that barely grew over her ears. “My best friend and twin sister, Bailey.” My finger slid across the wall, pointing to a man with a wide smile, blonde scruff on his cheeks and a clean cut hairdo. “And that’s my second best friend and brother-in-law. Daryl.” A smile ran its way across my face as I appreciated those photographs for the umpteenth time that day.

When I looked back over to Kate, she was smiling and there was a little bit of life in her eyes. It was more like an ember fizzling out as it tried to keep the roaring fire going, but it was there. It was hard to tell how often I could keep seeing that ember, but I was certain I wanted to see it more. “I-It’s…it’s really nice to see people who love their brothers and sisters,” Kate said. “I have two sisters, myself. Lynn and Molly.”

“Oh, yeah?” I asked, taking another sip of my juice. “How old are they?”

“Lynn is 10 and Molly is 13. They used to annoy me when I was younger, but not so much anymore. I guess they matured somewhere along the way.” I shrugged, looking back over my shoulder to the pictures.

“All three of you did.” I sighed, my vision going a little out of focus. My medications made me spacey at times, so I didn’t try to stop it. If I did, it would only be harder to focus. Better to allow them to pass naturally than try to force it away.

Kate said something, jogging me back into reality. I asked her what she said and she raised her hand to point a finger at one of my pictures. “That picture. Were you in the military?” I knew exactly which picture she was talking about and my eyes were on it in an instant. It depicted me with my best friends from my time in the service. We were all laughing, smoking cigarettes, drinking beers and having a good time. Were it not for our light beige camouflage, nobody would be able to guess what we were doing in the searing hot dessert.

“Yeah, I was. Joined the Marines after high school.” I placed my cup down on my nightstand and wrapped my arms around myself as I drew my knees closer to my chest.

“Wow…that must have been a trip and a half,” Kate said, seeming bedazzled by the fact. “Thank you for your service.” I shrugged again, trying to keep the wave of anxiety away. It was a long time ago, but my heart hurt just as much as it did when it was still fresh. I drew in a deep breath, searching my brain for a better, less sensitive topic.

“You don’t have to thank me. I just needed a place to stay, really.” Clearing my throat, I looked back over to the blonde girl. “Any other hobbies than drawing? Are you into sports or something?”

She bit her bottom lip as she thought, which gave me a moment to compose myself. The fits still came as often as they always did, but I was getting better at controlling them. Now I could keep them at bay until a one on one session with my therapist. After the first few outbreaks, he learned that it was just me trying to get the negativity out of my body in its own way. I was lucky he was so understanding, really.

“I also play the violin. And have since I was a little girl. A-And I’m not really into sports…my dad and sisters are really into basketball, though.” She shrugged, looking as if she was disappointed in herself. She had drawn into herself again, just when she was starting to open up. And that just wouldn’t do.

“Violin, huh? That’s not an easy instrument to play.” I reached up to point at my sister’s picture again. “Bailey plays guitar and she’s pretty fucking good at it, too. Maybe you two could have a jam session together, if you ever meet her on the outside.”

She gave a small hum of agreement, but her eyes were still distant. It was either the comment about playing the violin that set her off, or the comment about her father. If she was in this room with me, it didn’t take too many brain cells to figure out it was her father that was the problem here. “Dad’s into basketball, though? Not a bad choice…it’s not baseball, though.”

After another non-committal hum, my suspicions were confirmed. With a groan, I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my thighs. “I take it the relationship with dad isn’t so great?” It wasn’t ideal to start in with the heavy topics so quick. Not to me, anyway. This girl needed to know this room, if not any other room in the building, was a safe space. So long as she adhered to my rules, anything went, no matter how big or small.

“I guess…” she started, pausing to gather the correct words. “I’m just worried about what he’s thinking. I know my mother is pretty angry that I ended up here. Dad was just sort of like a brick wall. Didn’t say a whole lot, except that he loved me.” I nodded, looking into her eyes, even if she wasn’t meeting my gaze. If she had a problem with eye contact, that was something I was going to have to take a note of.

“If the only thing your dad said is, ‘I love you,’ then I’m sure he actually does. I don’t know him, but I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and just say he’s worried about you.” I stared at her for another long moment, waiting for her to say something. When she didn’t, I took that as my cue to continue with my spiel.

“I know it’s not easy being in here. Especially since you’re so young. Once you settle in, it’ll get easier. Just keep talking and being honest. Tell the doctor about any side effects of your meds and they’ll help you. Anyone here will.” When that made no headway, it was time to pull out the big guns.

Standing up, my feet carried me over to her side of the room. I parked myself on the floor in front of her nightstand, taking extra care not to touch her bed. If she wasn’t allowed to touch mine, it wouldn’t be fair if I touched hers, would it?

“That goes double for me,” I said, leaning my head against the hard wood. “We may have only just met, but I love you, Kate. Because if people in this world are allowed to hate for no reason, then I’m allowed to love for no reason.”

Finally, the girl let out a weak chuckle. My head lolled over to the side so I could look at her and I found her eyes shinier than they were before. She reached up to wipe away the brimming tears as the ghost of a smile appeared on her lips.

“Thanks. It’s…it’s refreshing to hear someone say something like that. Because it’s felt like the opposite since…” She drew in a breath and expelled it.

“You don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to. If you ever do,” I said, pointing to my bed. “I’m literally seven feet away, yeah?” Kate swallowed and nodded as her smile grew. It was still hiding away behind mountains of emotional baggage, but it was rising up to the tops of the peaks.

“Come on, ladies!” a voice shouted from the hallway. “Snack time!” The sudden shout casued Kate to jump and I worked hard to suppress a laugh. Despite me wanting to make her as comfortable and safe as possible, I could still admit that some of her quirks were funny. In an endearing way.

It wasn’t clear where this road was going to take her, but the point was she was on the road. Even if I had to drag her along, kicking and screaming, then that’s what I was going to do. She wouldn’t be the first, and it was looking like she wouldn’t be the last. I would be damned if she ended up like me.

I stood back up and leaned back, causing my spine to pop in a few choice places. “Come on, Kate,” I said, gesturing for her to follow me.

“Let’s go meet the other girls.”


End file.
